When All Has Changed
The memory will blur with the fade of time.
I will be unable to restore,to sharpen the blurred edges of that picture,
seen from a far-off height:
the valley of pines I know lay far down in the northeast,
the endless distance where the peaks never stopped mounting, one beyond another,
snowy, barren, alive…
But I cannot wholly forget the cold wind as the breath was draw from me
and carried into open skies.
No one breathes here but the mountains
Mountains
daring me to be, to sit among them
and feel my smallness…to feel
in the stillness
the absolute weight
that must move the earth though standing still.
It’s so quiet here…
Listen as the ancient speaks
Unmoving
Immense rock thrust far above us,
far beyond us now.
It’s all that we can see
surrounded by titans of standing stone
row upon jagged row,
snowy now in summer
with waterfalls and stony rivulets falling
into aquamarine glacial lakes,
the ice-melt a river that would take us,
if we let it,
down beyond this panorama
into the valleys we once thought we knew
‘Til now
when all has changed
because for an hour we stood on the shoulder of something
never made by human hands,
never aware of our tread.
These the ever-watchmen of all time,
witnesses of tumult and power,
await with the enduring patience of stone
another end
another Day
of Glory to surpass these that are but the granite sands of an hour glass.
Other Hands carved them out.
Other Hands hold them now.
And one day we’ll know
that other Hands can move mountains,
and plunge them into the sea.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Going Home
Going Home
I can’t wait to go home.
It’s far too quiet in this noise,
this isolating, jarring din.
Staying here, I can’t hear
anything – I am lost
beneath a cacophony
of a thousand voices
telling me who I am,
and who I am not,
where I lack and where I want.
So, I’m going home to
my Father’s arms, to the
quiet warmth that speaks.
Standing on that solid ground
beneath the fiery stars,
I’ll hear Heaven sigh.
Breathless in the cold night,
Alone but not alone.
You are who You are
And I am created:
myself
in You.
I can’t wait to go home.
It’s far too quiet in this noise,
this isolating, jarring din.
Staying here, I can’t hear
anything – I am lost
beneath a cacophony
of a thousand voices
telling me who I am,
and who I am not,
where I lack and where I want.
So, I’m going home to
my Father’s arms, to the
quiet warmth that speaks.
Standing on that solid ground
beneath the fiery stars,
I’ll hear Heaven sigh.
Breathless in the cold night,
Alone but not alone.
You are who You are
And I am created:
myself
in You.
Fight the Waves
Fight the Waves
Fight for this child, this child You have found
where I sit in midnight, yearning to belong.
I fight the waves, so you are never drowned.
Waves of motion devour the depths they pound.
I am fearful, always frail, ever wrung.
Fight for this child, this child You have found.
Floods won’t change My name, forever crowned.
Won’t you see that My love suffers long?
I fight the waves, so you are never drowned.
Do You watch my way? Do You hear a sound
beneath pressing waters where there’s no tongue?
Fight for this child, this child You have found
in a place unseen where I was bound.
In fear, I may not believe this is sung:
I fight the waves, so you are never drowned.
I’ve seen you there, in the dark, on the ground,
Watching your heart shatter at a song.
Fight for this child, this child You have found.
I fight the waves, so you are never drowned.
Fight for this child, this child You have found
where I sit in midnight, yearning to belong.
I fight the waves, so you are never drowned.
Waves of motion devour the depths they pound.
I am fearful, always frail, ever wrung.
Fight for this child, this child You have found.
Floods won’t change My name, forever crowned.
Won’t you see that My love suffers long?
I fight the waves, so you are never drowned.
Do You watch my way? Do You hear a sound
beneath pressing waters where there’s no tongue?
Fight for this child, this child You have found
in a place unseen where I was bound.
In fear, I may not believe this is sung:
I fight the waves, so you are never drowned.
I’ve seen you there, in the dark, on the ground,
Watching your heart shatter at a song.
Fight for this child, this child You have found.
I fight the waves, so you are never drowned.
until the day breaks fully in the east
from January 3, 2009
I spent some hours with Jen last night...such a sweet time talking about God's amazing Word, life and our place in it, friendships, relationships, grace, healing, our hearts, who we are, and the God that comes through for us in the middle of the night.
And in the meanderings of our searching of the Word and self-realization, we came to something that blew me away. In the Old Testament - particularly Jeremiah and Hosea - God says to His people that He will "heal their faithlessness" and "heal their apostacy." He speaks about all the disgusting, hurtful, destructive things that they do, all their sin, and says that He will heal it...
I don't know about you, but that is kind of a radical thought to me, a very different view of sin than we tend to think that God has or than we have ourselves. Sin as a sickness to be healed...Let me ask you this: would you ever smack a sick person and tell them to be well again? Of course not. You give them medicine. You take care of them. You rub soothing ointments into sores and wrap them carefully. It's loving. It's tender. God sees our sin as a disease, as wounds to be healed (check out Isaiah 1), not merely as something to be punished. He sees it as something damaging to us that brings us pain. And it's this sin, this damage, this pain that he wants to change. How compassionate and gracious the heart of God that doesn't seek simply to punish sin, but to heal it. With this God, there is so much room for our hearts.
"'Return, O faithless sons, I will heal your faithlessness.'" - Jeremiah 3:22
"'I will seek the lost, bring back the scattered, bind up the broken and strengthen the sick" - Ezekiel 34:16
Also check out Psalm 107. It's amazing.
“Ten Thousand Angels” by Derek Webb
how long you have traveled in darkness weeping
no rest in language, no words to speak
but there in the wreckage beneath bricks and bindings
Love has come, Love has come for you
against the night sky of your waiting
your face is like starlight when he walks in
everything worth keeping comes through dying
Love has come, Love has come for you
so lift up your heart now, to this unfolding
all that has been broken will be restored
here runs deep waters for all who are thirsty
Love has come, Love has come for you
ten thousand angels will light your pathway
until the day breaks fully in the East
they will surround you and make your way straight
Love has come, Love has come for you
Love has come, Love has come for you
I spent some hours with Jen last night...such a sweet time talking about God's amazing Word, life and our place in it, friendships, relationships, grace, healing, our hearts, who we are, and the God that comes through for us in the middle of the night.
And in the meanderings of our searching of the Word and self-realization, we came to something that blew me away. In the Old Testament - particularly Jeremiah and Hosea - God says to His people that He will "heal their faithlessness" and "heal their apostacy." He speaks about all the disgusting, hurtful, destructive things that they do, all their sin, and says that He will heal it...
I don't know about you, but that is kind of a radical thought to me, a very different view of sin than we tend to think that God has or than we have ourselves. Sin as a sickness to be healed...Let me ask you this: would you ever smack a sick person and tell them to be well again? Of course not. You give them medicine. You take care of them. You rub soothing ointments into sores and wrap them carefully. It's loving. It's tender. God sees our sin as a disease, as wounds to be healed (check out Isaiah 1), not merely as something to be punished. He sees it as something damaging to us that brings us pain. And it's this sin, this damage, this pain that he wants to change. How compassionate and gracious the heart of God that doesn't seek simply to punish sin, but to heal it. With this God, there is so much room for our hearts.
"'Return, O faithless sons, I will heal your faithlessness.'" - Jeremiah 3:22
"'I will seek the lost, bring back the scattered, bind up the broken and strengthen the sick" - Ezekiel 34:16
Also check out Psalm 107. It's amazing.
“Ten Thousand Angels” by Derek Webb
how long you have traveled in darkness weeping
no rest in language, no words to speak
but there in the wreckage beneath bricks and bindings
Love has come, Love has come for you
against the night sky of your waiting
your face is like starlight when he walks in
everything worth keeping comes through dying
Love has come, Love has come for you
so lift up your heart now, to this unfolding
all that has been broken will be restored
here runs deep waters for all who are thirsty
Love has come, Love has come for you
ten thousand angels will light your pathway
until the day breaks fully in the East
they will surround you and make your way straight
Love has come, Love has come for you
Love has come, Love has come for you
Friday, December 19, 2008
You're Welcome Here
"And I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness. Then you will know the LORD." Hosea 2:20 has been a key verse to me for so long. To know the Lord more truly everyday...that is the desire of my heart: to be near to Him, to "learn of Him," to experience all that He is. He is so good. But instead of looking at that last half about knowing Him, let’s look at that first half about betrothal. First of all, God frequently calls His relationship with His people a marriage. This is what makes the "knowing" part all that more close and intimate in meaning. This may sound weird to some of you - especially to those who don't yet know Him - but consider that marriage is supposed to be the closest human love relationship we have and you might understand a little better.
Anyway, back to my main point. He didn't just say "I will betroth you to Me." No, He said, "I will betroth you to Me in FAITHFULNESS." Did you know that God says, "I hate divorce" (Malachi 2:16)? And can we blame Him? Look at what havoc it has done to the people He made and loves, what pain it has caused. But there's more.
Something Mike, lead singer of Tenth Avenue North, said at a concert once really stuck with me. He was talking about how God hates divorce and he said that God hates it because it makes Him look bad. How? Because it makes us think that He'll leave us...Think about this for a minute.
I have never been divorced (lol or married) and my parents are goin' on 34 years of marriage, never divorced. Yet I have been left, abandoned by friends and others at different times and in different ways. I have discovered recently just how much that has colored the way I view my God. When we've been abandoned by others before, we believe we'll be abandoned again. And yet He says, "I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness." Faithfulness means a never-failing commitment.
"I will never divorce you," "I will never leave you nor forsake you," "I am with you always," "I have loved you with an everlasting love," "I will never abandon you"....
Do I believe Him? Or will I continue to view Him through a lens created by sinful humanity and thus continue to run and hide my most vulnerable self?...Do I believe His love? Do I believe it?? This is a constant fight.
You know, I used to hate my weakness and by that I mean the part of me that seems so small and scared and frail and soft and vulnerable and lonely. And if I'm honest, I still sometimes despise it and shove it away telling myself that I have to be stronger. But back in July, in Colorado, I tried to shove that away again, but God took that weakness by the hand, that little girl, and brought her back into my sight. That which I have despised, He said, He has loved...He has loved...How mind-blowing, earth-shattering that what the world says isn't good enough, what world looks on with disdain the God of the universe loves and looks on with compassion. To what the world says, "Buck up and be better," God says, "You're welcome here."
He has taken me back through my past, through moments of pain, when others hurt me, abandoned me, ignored me, or just didn't seem to see me at all. And you know what He said? "I loved you then. When others didn't notice you, I saw you, and I loved you when they didn't. I loved that little girl." And He has to do this over and over again - tell me He loves me in the wounded places and "speak on her heart."
Do I believe that He, above all others, will not abandon me when I bring to Him the weakest, frailest, smallest, most vulnerable, and most fearful things in me? Do I believe that He won't just leave me out in the cold when I show to Him the raw and broken parts? Sometimes. My friends, do you believe that for yourselves? How I pray that you do. How I pray that you believe that you can "Pour out you heart before Him...for God is a refuge for us" (Psalm 62).
One last story: At the same Tenth Ave. concert that I already mentioned, they played the song "By Your Side." First of all, the song is just amazing and I love it. But what made it such a highlight was that fact that Mike was crying during the song...crying singing "'Cause I/ I love you/ I want you/ to know/ That I/ I love you/ I'll never let you go." I looked at him and just thought, wow, this is the heart of Jesus toward me...this is His heart. I talked to Mike later and he said that he had never before gotten emotional during that song, but that it was like God made him feel what He feels for His people and said, this is My heart for them. Nothing could have been more apparent.
It's a love like this, a heart full of such tender compassion, that beckons us to Him, calls us out of hiding, and gives us the freedom to be weak. ‘Cause when we let Him into our weakness, He won’t abandon us there.
"O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret place of the steep pathway, let me see your form, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your form is lovely." - Song of Solomon 2:14
"Can't you see
I won't leave
You have to open your eyes
Here I stand
Take My hand
Let go of the fear that you hold"
-"She Cries" by East West
"You could've bowed out gracefully
But you didn't
...
Sometimes the place I go
Is so deep and dark and desperate
I don't know, I don't know
How everyday
Everyday, everyday
You save my life"
- “Everyday” by Rascal Flatts
“By Your Side” by Tenth Avenue North
Why are you striving
these days?
Why are you trying
to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away
Why are you looking
for love?
Why are you still searching
as if I’m not enough?
To where will you go, child?
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?
‘Cause I’ll be by your side
Where ever you fall
in the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands
and My side
They swallowed the grave
on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
so I could carry you in
and give you life
I want to give you life
And I’ll be by your side
Where ever you fall
in the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Here at My side
Where ever you fall
in the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Cause I,
I love you
I want you
To know
That I
I love you
I’ll never let you go
No
And I’ll be by your side
Where ever you fall
in the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Here at My side
Where ever you fall
in the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Anyway, back to my main point. He didn't just say "I will betroth you to Me." No, He said, "I will betroth you to Me in FAITHFULNESS." Did you know that God says, "I hate divorce" (Malachi 2:16)? And can we blame Him? Look at what havoc it has done to the people He made and loves, what pain it has caused. But there's more.
Something Mike, lead singer of Tenth Avenue North, said at a concert once really stuck with me. He was talking about how God hates divorce and he said that God hates it because it makes Him look bad. How? Because it makes us think that He'll leave us...Think about this for a minute.
I have never been divorced (lol or married) and my parents are goin' on 34 years of marriage, never divorced. Yet I have been left, abandoned by friends and others at different times and in different ways. I have discovered recently just how much that has colored the way I view my God. When we've been abandoned by others before, we believe we'll be abandoned again. And yet He says, "I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness." Faithfulness means a never-failing commitment.
"I will never divorce you," "I will never leave you nor forsake you," "I am with you always," "I have loved you with an everlasting love," "I will never abandon you"....
Do I believe Him? Or will I continue to view Him through a lens created by sinful humanity and thus continue to run and hide my most vulnerable self?...Do I believe His love? Do I believe it?? This is a constant fight.
You know, I used to hate my weakness and by that I mean the part of me that seems so small and scared and frail and soft and vulnerable and lonely. And if I'm honest, I still sometimes despise it and shove it away telling myself that I have to be stronger. But back in July, in Colorado, I tried to shove that away again, but God took that weakness by the hand, that little girl, and brought her back into my sight. That which I have despised, He said, He has loved...He has loved...How mind-blowing, earth-shattering that what the world says isn't good enough, what world looks on with disdain the God of the universe loves and looks on with compassion. To what the world says, "Buck up and be better," God says, "You're welcome here."
He has taken me back through my past, through moments of pain, when others hurt me, abandoned me, ignored me, or just didn't seem to see me at all. And you know what He said? "I loved you then. When others didn't notice you, I saw you, and I loved you when they didn't. I loved that little girl." And He has to do this over and over again - tell me He loves me in the wounded places and "speak on her heart."
Do I believe that He, above all others, will not abandon me when I bring to Him the weakest, frailest, smallest, most vulnerable, and most fearful things in me? Do I believe that He won't just leave me out in the cold when I show to Him the raw and broken parts? Sometimes. My friends, do you believe that for yourselves? How I pray that you do. How I pray that you believe that you can "Pour out you heart before Him...for God is a refuge for us" (Psalm 62).
One last story: At the same Tenth Ave. concert that I already mentioned, they played the song "By Your Side." First of all, the song is just amazing and I love it. But what made it such a highlight was that fact that Mike was crying during the song...crying singing "'Cause I/ I love you/ I want you/ to know/ That I/ I love you/ I'll never let you go." I looked at him and just thought, wow, this is the heart of Jesus toward me...this is His heart. I talked to Mike later and he said that he had never before gotten emotional during that song, but that it was like God made him feel what He feels for His people and said, this is My heart for them. Nothing could have been more apparent.
It's a love like this, a heart full of such tender compassion, that beckons us to Him, calls us out of hiding, and gives us the freedom to be weak. ‘Cause when we let Him into our weakness, He won’t abandon us there.
"O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret place of the steep pathway, let me see your form, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your form is lovely." - Song of Solomon 2:14
"Can't you see
I won't leave
You have to open your eyes
Here I stand
Take My hand
Let go of the fear that you hold"
-"She Cries" by East West
"You could've bowed out gracefully
But you didn't
...
Sometimes the place I go
Is so deep and dark and desperate
I don't know, I don't know
How everyday
Everyday, everyday
You save my life"
- “Everyday” by Rascal Flatts
“By Your Side” by Tenth Avenue North
Why are you striving
these days?
Why are you trying
to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away
Why are you looking
for love?
Why are you still searching
as if I’m not enough?
To where will you go, child?
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?
‘Cause I’ll be by your side
Where ever you fall
in the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands
and My side
They swallowed the grave
on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
so I could carry you in
and give you life
I want to give you life
And I’ll be by your side
Where ever you fall
in the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Here at My side
Where ever you fall
in the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Cause I,
I love you
I want you
To know
That I
I love you
I’ll never let you go
No
And I’ll be by your side
Where ever you fall
in the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Here at My side
Where ever you fall
in the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Why are you striving these days?
October 17, 2008
Staring at the dirt. Grasping desperately at anything. Terrified to slow down and stop, terrified to let go. But too tired to keep on running.
This is where I am and where I have been lately.
I went and saw Tenth Avenue North, Sanctus Real, and VOTA tonight. God’s remarkable, isn’t He? He never does anything the same way twice, seems like. I mean, He uses Tenth Avenue North always to point me to Him, to break me, convict me, love me, speak truth to my soul, and to pour grace out on me. He’s used them to change my life, for sure. This time, He used them to send me utterly to my knees—no, to floor, face down in the carpet, arms spread out wide, sobbing.
You see, I have been staring at the dirt. I have been staring at the things of this earth for so long, mere reflections of a God more beautiful than we can imagine. He’s been tearing down my walls, taking a wrecking ball to the hurtful things in my life. And in the midst of that, I have been grabbing things and shoving them into this gaping whole that He has exposed, desperate to fill the vacuum. I have been running, so scared to slow down and stop, to be still and let myself be…exposed, naked, unprotected by my desperate walls before Him. I’ve been terrified to cease striving and wait—not ‘do,’ but wait, in the stillness, in the silence for a God who may or may not choose to speak. I mean, He’s God. He speaks when He wants to. And in so doing, I have not allowed Him the space to love me, to show me Himself, to know Him. I’ve been running in terror of letting go, but I’ve been soooo tired and weary…because I was never meant to run like this. I was never meant to just merely survive in this life, in this world, I was never meant to carry this weight and this load all on my own. Running is killing me. I’ve been staring at the dirt for so long that I’ve become afraid to look to Heaven, afraid that who I see there won’t be as loving, as satisfying as the things I see. The habit has made me forget the love that I’ve known, deep, full, unending, faithful, and real. And since when have I ever been satisfied by anything but Jesus?? Never. Nothing here has ever been enough. Only Jesus.
I have been fighting, kicking, wrestling, running instead of facing Him when He has been telling me to come to Him, to let Him deal with all my stuff. But how can I run when His love has bound me to Him and He’s never letting go? Hallelujah for that. He’ll never let me go…There’s a bond between us that shall not be broken. I can only fight for so long. And then His love pulls me in…
I was hesitant, I was stubborn, I was resistant when I felt Him drawing me at the concert. But I knew it was time to hit the floor. I mean it was Tenth Avenue North. You have to stop your ears and super harden your heart to not hear the truth He speaks through them, to not feel His beckoning touch.
It started as soon as I got in the car to drive home—weeping, brokenness. There are so many things that I don’t understand, so many things that plague me, so much confusion and turmoil, but the one thing I really firmly knew to do tonight was to lay out on that carpet and call His name. The only way I know how to seek Him is on my knees or on my face, listening for Him, letting Him in. All that I want and need is Him. There was and there is no where else for me to go but that carpeted floor before Him. And I know He was there, there through the tears.
It’s time to stop shoving all this crap into that vacuum and leave it open for Him to fill, to step into. It’s time to stop running, cease striving, stop having to do something and to just be His beloved, His child, the one He died for. It’s time to just belong to Him and know Him and to let that be enough. It’s time to open up to Him and let Him be the one to love and to comfort, to protect and satisfy me.
On the practical side of things, in order for me to do this, I’ve got to cut way down on the Facebook action. I don’t know about you, but when I am running from Jesus, this is one place I tend to go. You may have noticed that I’ve been on here a whole lot lately. Well, that is one thing that’s changing now. You can hold me to that, though I don’t necessarily have a specific Facebook allowance in mind.
I love you guys and I hope that you are challenged to stop and see what you’re missing in all your strivings. Come, see the one thing you can’t earn by all your work. What you and I work for doesn’t satisfy us in the least. Come, rest in Jesus’ loving arms, and find that He satisfies you with Himself.
Staring at the dirt. Grasping desperately at anything. Terrified to slow down and stop, terrified to let go. But too tired to keep on running.
This is where I am and where I have been lately.
I went and saw Tenth Avenue North, Sanctus Real, and VOTA tonight. God’s remarkable, isn’t He? He never does anything the same way twice, seems like. I mean, He uses Tenth Avenue North always to point me to Him, to break me, convict me, love me, speak truth to my soul, and to pour grace out on me. He’s used them to change my life, for sure. This time, He used them to send me utterly to my knees—no, to floor, face down in the carpet, arms spread out wide, sobbing.
You see, I have been staring at the dirt. I have been staring at the things of this earth for so long, mere reflections of a God more beautiful than we can imagine. He’s been tearing down my walls, taking a wrecking ball to the hurtful things in my life. And in the midst of that, I have been grabbing things and shoving them into this gaping whole that He has exposed, desperate to fill the vacuum. I have been running, so scared to slow down and stop, to be still and let myself be…exposed, naked, unprotected by my desperate walls before Him. I’ve been terrified to cease striving and wait—not ‘do,’ but wait, in the stillness, in the silence for a God who may or may not choose to speak. I mean, He’s God. He speaks when He wants to. And in so doing, I have not allowed Him the space to love me, to show me Himself, to know Him. I’ve been running in terror of letting go, but I’ve been soooo tired and weary…because I was never meant to run like this. I was never meant to just merely survive in this life, in this world, I was never meant to carry this weight and this load all on my own. Running is killing me. I’ve been staring at the dirt for so long that I’ve become afraid to look to Heaven, afraid that who I see there won’t be as loving, as satisfying as the things I see. The habit has made me forget the love that I’ve known, deep, full, unending, faithful, and real. And since when have I ever been satisfied by anything but Jesus?? Never. Nothing here has ever been enough. Only Jesus.
I have been fighting, kicking, wrestling, running instead of facing Him when He has been telling me to come to Him, to let Him deal with all my stuff. But how can I run when His love has bound me to Him and He’s never letting go? Hallelujah for that. He’ll never let me go…There’s a bond between us that shall not be broken. I can only fight for so long. And then His love pulls me in…
I was hesitant, I was stubborn, I was resistant when I felt Him drawing me at the concert. But I knew it was time to hit the floor. I mean it was Tenth Avenue North. You have to stop your ears and super harden your heart to not hear the truth He speaks through them, to not feel His beckoning touch.
It started as soon as I got in the car to drive home—weeping, brokenness. There are so many things that I don’t understand, so many things that plague me, so much confusion and turmoil, but the one thing I really firmly knew to do tonight was to lay out on that carpet and call His name. The only way I know how to seek Him is on my knees or on my face, listening for Him, letting Him in. All that I want and need is Him. There was and there is no where else for me to go but that carpeted floor before Him. And I know He was there, there through the tears.
It’s time to stop shoving all this crap into that vacuum and leave it open for Him to fill, to step into. It’s time to stop running, cease striving, stop having to do something and to just be His beloved, His child, the one He died for. It’s time to just belong to Him and know Him and to let that be enough. It’s time to open up to Him and let Him be the one to love and to comfort, to protect and satisfy me.
On the practical side of things, in order for me to do this, I’ve got to cut way down on the Facebook action. I don’t know about you, but when I am running from Jesus, this is one place I tend to go. You may have noticed that I’ve been on here a whole lot lately. Well, that is one thing that’s changing now. You can hold me to that, though I don’t necessarily have a specific Facebook allowance in mind.
I love you guys and I hope that you are challenged to stop and see what you’re missing in all your strivings. Come, see the one thing you can’t earn by all your work. What you and I work for doesn’t satisfy us in the least. Come, rest in Jesus’ loving arms, and find that He satisfies you with Himself.
to the blind, the crippled, the lame...
September 29, 2008
ARGH! I hate my knee! I take that back. I don't hate my knee or what caused the pain in my knee (a mountain bike, a wily downhill trail, a rock, and my amateur status). I hate the pain itself in my knee (or knie for the German literate). I hate how it burns and incapacitates [to a slight degree]. That is what I hate.
There are periods of time in which it gets better and seems fine. And then, quite inexplicably, it aches and throbs, along with that old shin bone. I barely moved it this morning when the smoldering in it began again. You may well wonder, why is my knie still hurting two months after I injured it that day when Laura didn't quite conquer the mountain? I myself did wonder, and so sought out my sister, the physical therapist, who assured me that it wasn't seriously injured (I figured not) and just needed time to heal. After all, I did bruise the bones pretty thoroughly (seriously some of you saw the massive swelling and the lovely color of my knee).
I heard somewhere that it's a good sign when you start seeing Jesus in everything. I don't know if I can say that I see Him in everything, but I certainly see Him in a lot of things. And so, as I was complaining to myself and Jesus this morning, griping about my knee, it reminded me of Jesus and spiritual things.
We all have these old injuries - yes, friends, all of us. You and I are the walking wounded, the blind, the crippled, the lame. Our wounds, like my knee, don't always give us pain. We walk around with ease, willing and able to go on our merry ways. But we are crushed, we crumble, we crumple in pain when someone or something reaches out and pushes on that old bruise. Or maybe we make a mistake, a misstep, a wrong move, maybe we clumsily bump into something, and a painful burning erupts that leaves us gasping on the floor. Or maybe we are yet flattened, clothes-lined by something inexplicable. We were walking fine, when suddenly for a reason we can't explain, it's just so hard to go on.
sharp intakes of breath...all you can feel, all you can see, all you can hear is the pain...like bright lights and discordant sounds in a dark and empty room...the cold hard floor against your back...the sky above you...your arms wrapped around "the fatal cut"...
beloved, do you know the heart of God? And when I say 'know,' I don't just mean that you know it in your head, just a fact. I use mean the word that God uses in Hosea 2:20 when He says that you will "know the Lord." It's the same word in the expression "Adam knew his wife." It's experiential. It's close. It's complete in it's extent. It's full of intimacy. beloved, do you know the heart of God? do you believe His heart?
Maybe you don't know His heart. Maybe you've heard that He came to rescue us, but have never seen that it your own life, never fully understood what that meant.
Do you know what Jesus said as sort of a mission statement? He read from Isaiah 61: "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners; To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD." mm, His mission on earth was not just to get us to heaven with Him, amazing as that is. He went even further than that. The heart of our God is for the afflicted, those in pain, for those whose hearts have been torn up, spit on, beaten, broken, and crushed, for those held captive, prisoners of their addictions, their sins, or those of others. The heart of our God is to heal us, to free us, to give us "life more abundantly."
God doesn't say to the weeping, "Shut up, buck up, toughen up, and be better! Don't be weak!" No. Never. Jesus wept with the brokenhearted in Bethany (John 11). He didn't weep because He was sad at the loss of a friend. That's not what the scripture says. "When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled" Jesus? Troubled?? By what? The grief of the people around Him. They were in pain. And because of that, so was He. And "Jesus wept" for their pain. He knew that in like 5 minutes He was going to change their grief to joy by bringing their brother and friend back to life, but that didn't change the fact that they were in pain...now. Though it would soon be gone, Jesus cared about that pain...He cares about your pain...
"Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried" Isaiah 53:3
"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
"For He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; Nor has He hidden His face from him; But when he cried to Him for help, He heard." Psalm 22:24
beloved, He came to earth and felt our pain, when He didn't have to.We cry and He hears.
How does that hit you?
I confess that I don't always believe that He is as good, as gentle, as loving, as tender, or as kind as I've known Him to be in my head and my heart. The pain gets in and tells me He won't come, He doesn't care, He's disappointed, He won't rescue. Yeah, I know that pain...It's time to ask Him to come into it, to enter it, to touch it (a painful thought), to heal it. He's a God of tenderhearted mercy and everlasting lovingkindness. He desires to heal and to free. He wants us to know His love that surpasses all understanding. He wants us to know that we are loved and that we matter...to Him.
Lord, come. Bind up the brokenhearted...
Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.
-Psalm 62:8
Check out this powerful Nooma video on a similar theme - "Rain":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9udYp7UOP8A
"Valley Song" by Jars of Clay
You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to You
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek Your face
But I fear You aren't
there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut
And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
Yeah
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia alleluia, alleluia
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
Oh, Lord sing of Your mercy,
MercyYour mercy
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