ARGH! I hate my knee! I take that back. I don't hate my knee or what caused the pain in my knee (a mountain bike, a wily downhill trail, a rock, and my amateur status). I hate the pain itself in my knee (or knie for the German literate). I hate how it burns and incapacitates [to a slight degree]. That is what I hate.
There are periods of time in which it gets better and seems fine. And then, quite inexplicably, it aches and throbs, along with that old shin bone. I barely moved it this morning when the smoldering in it began again. You may well wonder, why is my knie still hurting two months after I injured it that day when Laura didn't quite conquer the mountain? I myself did wonder, and so sought out my sister, the physical therapist, who assured me that it wasn't seriously injured (I figured not) and just needed time to heal. After all, I did bruise the bones pretty thoroughly (seriously some of you saw the massive swelling and the lovely color of my knee).
I heard somewhere that it's a good sign when you start seeing Jesus in everything. I don't know if I can say that I see Him in everything, but I certainly see Him in a lot of things. And so, as I was complaining to myself and Jesus this morning, griping about my knee, it reminded me of Jesus and spiritual things.
We all have these old injuries - yes, friends, all of us. You and I are the walking wounded, the blind, the crippled, the lame. Our wounds, like my knee, don't always give us pain. We walk around with ease, willing and able to go on our merry ways. But we are crushed, we crumble, we crumple in pain when someone or something reaches out and pushes on that old bruise. Or maybe we make a mistake, a misstep, a wrong move, maybe we clumsily bump into something, and a painful burning erupts that leaves us gasping on the floor. Or maybe we are yet flattened, clothes-lined by something inexplicable. We were walking fine, when suddenly for a reason we can't explain, it's just so hard to go on.
sharp intakes of breath...all you can feel, all you can see, all you can hear is the pain...like bright lights and discordant sounds in a dark and empty room...the cold hard floor against your back...the sky above you...your arms wrapped around "the fatal cut"...
beloved, do you know the heart of God? And when I say 'know,' I don't just mean that you know it in your head, just a fact. I use mean the word that God uses in Hosea 2:20 when He says that you will "know the Lord." It's the same word in the expression "Adam knew his wife." It's experiential. It's close. It's complete in it's extent. It's full of intimacy. beloved, do you know the heart of God? do you believe His heart?
Maybe you don't know His heart. Maybe you've heard that He came to rescue us, but have never seen that it your own life, never fully understood what that meant.
Do you know what Jesus said as sort of a mission statement? He read from Isaiah 61: "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners; To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD." mm, His mission on earth was not just to get us to heaven with Him, amazing as that is. He went even further than that. The heart of our God is for the afflicted, those in pain, for those whose hearts have been torn up, spit on, beaten, broken, and crushed, for those held captive, prisoners of their addictions, their sins, or those of others. The heart of our God is to heal us, to free us, to give us "life more abundantly."
God doesn't say to the weeping, "Shut up, buck up, toughen up, and be better! Don't be weak!" No. Never. Jesus wept with the brokenhearted in Bethany (John 11). He didn't weep because He was sad at the loss of a friend. That's not what the scripture says. "When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled" Jesus? Troubled?? By what? The grief of the people around Him. They were in pain. And because of that, so was He. And "Jesus wept" for their pain. He knew that in like 5 minutes He was going to change their grief to joy by bringing their brother and friend back to life, but that didn't change the fact that they were in pain...now. Though it would soon be gone, Jesus cared about that pain...He cares about your pain...
"Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried" Isaiah 53:3
"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18
"For He has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted; Nor has He hidden His face from him; But when he cried to Him for help, He heard." Psalm 22:24
beloved, He came to earth and felt our pain, when He didn't have to.We cry and He hears.
How does that hit you?
I confess that I don't always believe that He is as good, as gentle, as loving, as tender, or as kind as I've known Him to be in my head and my heart. The pain gets in and tells me He won't come, He doesn't care, He's disappointed, He won't rescue. Yeah, I know that pain...It's time to ask Him to come into it, to enter it, to touch it (a painful thought), to heal it. He's a God of tenderhearted mercy and everlasting lovingkindness. He desires to heal and to free. He wants us to know His love that surpasses all understanding. He wants us to know that we are loved and that we matter...to Him.
Lord, come. Bind up the brokenhearted...
Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.
-Psalm 62:8
Check out this powerful Nooma video on a similar theme - "Rain":http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9udYp7UOP8A
"Valley Song" by Jars of Clay
You have led me to the sadness
I have carried this pain
On a back bruised, nearly broken
I'm crying out to You
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
When death like a Gypsy
Comes to steal what I love
I will still look to the heavens
I will still seek Your face
But I fear You aren't
there are no words
Just the stillness and the hunger
For a faith that assures
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground using our hands
To cover the fatal cut
And though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
Yeah
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia alleluia, alleluia
Alleluia, alleluia alleluia, alleluia
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
I will sing of Your mercy
That leads me through valleys of sorrow
To rivers of joy
Oh, Lord sing of Your mercy,
MercyYour mercy
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